“Take responsibility.” “Go on the attack to defend your future.” “Take back control.” “Losing your home is going to be a train wreck, but it’s not the end of your life.”

That was some of the advice and encouragement given during a forum for homeowners facing foreclosure held on a rainy Thursday evening at the Port St. Lucie Civic Center.

Organized by Exit Realty owner Lennox Davidson, the meeting attracted a sparse crowd of about 50 homeowners who listened to a panel of Realtors, loan modification lawyers, a foreclosure defense attorney and credit counselors.

Climbing out of the mortgage morass that thousands of St. Lucie County residents and millions more across the country find themselves in is as much psychological as technical, the experts said.

There are a battery of techniques from negotiating to modify the terms of a mortgage, to arranging a short sale of a home, to challenging the legality of a foreclosure case in court. Yet homeowners’ attitude toward the crisis is just as important.

Individuals were told they need to take charge of their own destiny.

Ninety percent of homeowners facing foreclosure, attorney Joann Hennessy said, just sit back and wait for the bank to act. And it’s those 90 percent on whom the banks concentrate first, she said.

Hennessy said she was surprised the 500-seat room wasn’t full since Port St. Lucie has been the Ground Zero of foreclosure.

“I think people are embarrassed by their situation. They’ve always had good credit, always paid their bills on time,” she explained.

She and other speakers laid much of the blame on banks and Wall Street investors for creating the mortgage mess.

Homeowners were bamboozled into taking out “impossible” loans. Yet once the economy crashed and jobs were lost or income slashed, problems emerged on a terrifying scale.

That was the case with Port St. Lucie homeowners Mary Rowe and Arthur Hyatt.

The married couple has fought their mortgage lender, Chase, for almost two years, trying to reach a mortgage payment they can live with.

They’ve done all the right things: Entering a U.S. Treasury-backed loan modification program with the bank to reduce their payments by almost 50 percent.

Yet after 12 months, Chase sent them a letter saying they weren’t making enough income to qualify for the program. They eventually offered another modification — at $800 a month more than they had been paying. The couple is still arguing with Chase.

“I’m beyond stressed,” Crowe said, obviously exasperated. “I’ve been on the phone every day for a year with them. We’ve talked to the Governor’s office, to Sen. Bill Nelson. I can’t see why the government keeps giving these banks the money.”

Trying to successfully navigate the maze of regulations is possible yourself, Davidson said, but homeowners should consider hiring a professional to help.

“Remember, this is a battle. Approach it like one,“ he advised the audience. “You need an expert swordsman on your side.”

For Davidson, Thursday’s forum is only the beginning. He’s considering taking his event on the road to other South Florida cities in the near future.

“People don’t know where to turn for advice. Banks start with an immense advantage; they are always covered. You have to remember: Banks are not your friend.”